PWI Update
THE TURN: Skewering The Week Of May 2 - 8


By Frank Ingiosi

After much deliberation and careful consideration, I’ve come to the conclusion that I hate, hate the Raw World championship belt.

Hate.

Think about that for a second. There’s really not much in the world that I can say I legitimately “hate.” There are your basics of injustice, oppression, and the like, but everyone hates those things. But, as it stands now, I think the only tangible item that I hate is that ridiculous looking Raw World title belt.

My beef is simple and can be broken down into two distinct reasons as to why I hate that godawful strap: 1) It’s embarrassingly cartoonish and was intended, when introduced, to be counter-culture and not the norm, and, 2) It’s solely still in use to make money off of us schlubs.

Let me address the second reason first, as that’s far easier to explain. While I’m certainly not against, nor naïve to, a company’s ability to make money, in this case I have a problem. Imagine if the NHL conducted a survey amongst morons 18-22 and asked them if they believed the Stanley Cup would be more appealing if the top bowl spun, and when these dolts cried “yes” in unison, they made it so simply to pander to a group of customers. That’s how it makes me feel.

Back to reason number one, and I touched on it briefly a moment ago: The belt looks cartoonish. Think back, if you will, to when John Cena introduced the spinner belt to WWE. It was done because he felt that the current gold didn’t fit his style. So, now, we have the goofy-looking chunk of gold that you could pick up anywhere on Market Street here in Philly for $40 representing the most prestigious championship in what’s considered the most prestigious company. There’s no real history to it; there’s no connection to the past.

I think my disdain for the Raw World title belt didn’t really hit me until Triple-H won the championship at Backlash. Watching him carry around a toy and try to look badass while doing so completely takes the edge off the man. Could you imagine a Bruno Sammartino carrying that garbage belt? Bob Backlund? Hulk Hogan? Okay, fine, Hogan probably would be happy to do so. Hell, the man would wear makeup and high heels if you let him play his daughter’s album for you—but that’s something for another time.

I suppose, to sum all this up, that my biggest gripe with the Raw World title belt is that it’s just another example of WWE changing something that really never needed to be changed. Freshen up your storylines—sure, that’s great. Bring in and develop new talent—awesome. Take the biggest prize in your company and whore it out for a few bucks more—unnecessary.

The Week In Televised Wrestling:

Smackdown (5/2)
Why can’t they just leave the man alone, huh? If it’s not injury, it’s bitter woman in a wheelchair keeping The Undertaker from enjoying a lengthy, well-deserved title run. Vickie Guerrero—in her capacity as … huh … we’re not quite sure what the hell she’s considered anymore—stripped ’Taker of the gold last Friday night on Smackdown in the interest of fairness, and she banned his brand spanking new gogoplata chokehold. Shockingly, Edge became the new number-one contender after winning a shoddily thrown together tournament.

Raw (5/5)
It’s bad enough that we’re stuck with Mike Adamle one night a week, but to have him appear on Raw and continue his shtick of being faux-bad to mask how really bad he is just sucks. We’re sorry, but it does. Still, we’re glad to see that, at the very least, WWE is trying to do something with that fiasco. It’s like the fat kid in your 5th-grade class who tries to beat you to the punch by goofing on himself; sure, you laugh, but it’s in lieu of feeling really awful for the guy. Adamle is not, nor was he ever, fit for the gig and everyone knows that. Everyone except for WWE apparently.

ECW (5/6)
Congratulations to Colin Delaney for finally earning his ECW contract by defeating Armando Estrada on the brand’s 100th episode Tuesday night. The upside: Delaney now realizes his dream of becoming an ECW wrestler. The downside: Delaney is now an ECW wrestler. Ever get blinded so much by the pursuit of something that you fail to recognize the flaws within the prize itself? Why do we get the feeling that Delaney popped up from a sound sleep in a cold sweat early Wednesday morning and screamed “What have I done?!”

Impact (5/8)
We at “The Turn” love—love—tournaments. There’s just something about the tournament structure that really makes for some intriguing matchups and a fun experience for the viewer. Still, there’s something about TNA’s “Deuces Wild” tournament that is just too disjointed for our liking. Some teams are established, while others are unlikely yet “completely random” pairings. It just doesn’t feel right, although it could be an interesting watch. Of course, we may just be squeamish at the fact that there’s a tag team tournament as part of a pay-per-view, but what do we know?

And Finally … A belated congratulations to Frank’s doppelganger and all around tough guy Samoa Joe on winning the TNA World championship at Lockdown. If Joe’s track record is any indicator, he could hold on to this title for quite some time. Joe’s last major championship reign (ROH) lasted for an astounding 21 months and ended—perhaps even more shockingly—nearly 3½ years ago. Think he was hungry for the gold?

Thank you all for your submissions and keep the comments coming.
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