By Frank Ingiosi

In my youth, I recall two very distinct, unwavering facts: 1) I looked awesome with my middle-school puberty mustache, and, 2) Luna Vachon scared the bejesus out of me. I mean, of course I realized that she was just a wrestler and she really couldn’t haunt my dreams but, damned if she didn’t.

Luna to me was always an edgier, creepier version of a latter-career Sherri Martel. Perhaps it was her usurping of Shawn Michaels from the aforementioned Martel, or maybe it was just the fact that they were contemporaries in WWF at a time where so few women were prominently featured. To this day, I can’t figure out precisely what it was about Vachon that always made me cringe when she was in play. My best guess at such an advanced age: she was just really, really good at what she did.

As we’re all probably aware, Luna passed away this year at young age for the rest of the world, but perfectly normal for the modern wrestler, age of 48. The circumstances surrounding her passing were still being fleshed out as I sat down to write this column today, and autopsy results are pending. According to published reports from sources I trust, the situation was being treated as an accidental drug overdose by authorities.

BSo, once again we’re confronted with the bizarre and tragic end to a prominent figure of the industry that leaves us with far more questions than could possibly be answered. It’s easy to use Luna’s passing as a way to examine the stunning epidemic of wrestler deaths as a whole or, specifically, what it was in this woman’s life that led her down this final path. I choose to take a different approach.

Why doesn’t this happen to athletes and performers in other sports? Allow me to qualify that a bit: Why doesn’t this happen to athletes and performers in other sports to the extent that it seems to happen to professional wrestlers? What makes the employees of our chosen industry so susceptible to dying young?

Hell, these are headier questions than even I like to ponder. What are your thoughts? Shoot me your opinions at pwi_ingiosi@yahoo.com and let’s take this opportunity to encourage honest discourse on such a touchy and heartbreaking topic.

The Week In Televised Wrestling

Smackdown (8/27)
Remember when Jack Swagger was WWE World champion and we, in this very column, figured he had a long and extensive career ahead of him at the bottom of the card? You don’t remember that? Oh, thank God. See, we figured you’d call us out on our crap after the goofy shoot-wrestling match Swagger had against MVP last Friday night on Smackdown. We’re not sure what the future now holds for Swagger, but at least we know we have company. WWE Creative clearly is foundering when it comes to setting this guy up for anything substantial. Someone please just beat up his dad, again.

Raw (8/30)
Raw celebrated its 900th episode on Monday night, which honestly, is an amazing feat. Despite all the garbage we give WWE for its programming, we certainly are not above tipping our cap to Stamford in light of such a feat. Plus, there had to have been at least a dozen or two solid episodes in that timeframe, right? We kid, of course. Still, how surreal was it to see a potential Bret Hart-Undertaker match in 2010? Of course we all knew it wouldn’t happen, but it was relatively intriguing in an uncomfortable way.

NXT (8/31)
WWE has its newest breakthrough superstar in Kaval—easily the man with the most inhumanly deep voice we’ve ever heard. We would actually pay to hear a conference call between Kaval, Scarlett Johansson and that guy from the 1990s progressive rock group Crash Test Dummies. Seriously, we would. Still, congrats to Kaval for a heck of a win and best of luck in your month or so of WWE employment. In stranger news, it was announced that NXT Season 3 would be an all-Divas class of breakthrough stars who … ahh, who cares. Let’s set the over-under line at three bikini competitions.

Impact (9/2)
The great irony of the Fortune faction: Do you think any one of its members actually has a fortune? C’mon … they work for TNA and, before that, Canada and the indys. Wouldn’t “Middleclass” be more appropriate? What about “Equity”? Was “Debt Financed” taken? Hell, we all know Flair’s not exactly a financial whiz, and he’s the guy that came up with the thing. We see these guys in the ring, warding off another advance by EV2.0 last night, and it just doesn’t make you think wealth and exclusivity. It feels more like grits and keeping your money in a coffee can because banks can’t be trusted. Oh, and nice use of the Texas Cloverleaf by Tommy Dreamer last night. Well done.

And Finally … This is the final week of the tried and true “Turn” format we’ve all come to know and … “love” may be too strong a word … let’s say, “tolerate.” It’s been a good run for this shtick, but change is good and moving forward is something we’ve considered for quite a while here at “The Turn.” In that vein, we’d like to encourage you to bombard us with stuff you’d like to see in print, with a high emphasis on pimping your local promotion or favorite indy wrestler. Get your promotion and talent the virtual ink it deserves. We serve at the mercy of the fans and appreciate all of your input over the years. Feel free to pass along your suggestions or info to: pwi_ingiosi@yahoo.com. See you next week. We’ll be the cool, mysterious guy who transferred from an out-of-state school that you really want to approach but fear and respect. Or, just the same nerdy crap with a different look. Really, either works for us.

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